He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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