Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
