do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
