I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize