I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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