i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize