if i died would you start the facebook group?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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