He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
