I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
