In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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