So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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