you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
