We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
