Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize