We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
