I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize