i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
