Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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