Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
