you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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