i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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