that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
