You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I won the penis lottery.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize