I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
