I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
