You smell like a Billy Joel song
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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