glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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