I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize