he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
