U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
