Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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