Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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