So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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