Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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