It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize