We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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