you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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