have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize