yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
