I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
