throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
