I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
