I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
