I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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