I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
