So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
