I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
