yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
