I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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