So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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