Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
