I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
