That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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