New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
