what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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