her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
