We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
