yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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