he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
