you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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